My name is Mike.
I am a 40 year old man who is divorced, three times. Due to my long term depression issues, I’ve been unable to handle a lot of things in my life. This blog is a way for me to be able to explore my journey from dark into the light and hopefully, I’ll be able to reach out to someone and help them as well.
A little bit about me.
I was raised in Central Oklahoma, on a small farm by my mother and her third husband. My mother had some pretty serious issues with drinking and as a result was violent and angry. She was verbally and mentally abusive to all of us-me and my six siblings. My stepfather was a good man, but was as helpless with her just as much as we were.
My family was extremely religious, which I believe is one of the reasons that I became so depressed at an early age. Fundamentalist religious sects can be damaging, as well as wonderful.
I got married at 17 to my highschool girlfriend when she got pregnant. She lost the baby, but we tried to make it work for another year before calling it quits. Sometimes I think about her and hope her life got better after she left me. My second wife and I met when I was in the service. It was sort lived, too. We met on my first day in Bahrain and got married three weeks later. I don’t know why I did it, other than it just felt so comfortable and normal. It turned into a nightmare quickly enough as she was an alcoholic and our drinking habits spiraled out of control until I was arrested for assaulting her. I am ashamed to admit that I did actually assault her. It was a low point in my life.
After my second marriage failed, I met my third wife in rehab. I had been separated from the service because of the assault and in the end, it felt like we both knew what it was like to live with demons. She was a good wife. We were married for 12 years but we grew apart. After two children, we separated and divorced. Here I am. Thee wives later.
I have no one else to blame but myself for my issues and pain and I hope that by the Grace of God and hard work, I can correct my past problems and become a better version of myself.